Jayboy

In truth I liked Jay at my very first sight.

He was not 'uppity' as some admirers had been.

And Jo told us he became quite a celebrity.

When he appeared on the great TV screen.

He’d competed on the Fear Factor programme,

Against a team of ‘high fiving’ Yanks.

Whooping and hollering and up for the fight,

To put the prize money, into their banks.

At first the teams were manacled and held on high,

Before being plunged into the depths of the sea.

Where they faced many difficult underwater tasks

Before emerging, chests heaving, breathlessly!

Next they had to eat disgusting animal parts,

And gross looking insects and all,

The yank lady member scoffed everything in sight,

But I’m afraid that our Jay took a fall!

He groaned, he winced and tears came to his eyes,

He’d been put in a really tight place.

He struggled to eat just as much as he could.

And there was a green, sick look on his face!

Eventually, they came to the very last event.

Nothing to lose and everything to gain,

They had a team talk, resolved to do well.

and grit their teeth to ride through the pain!

They were taken to a desolate South African spot

a vast chasm below, and quite a fresh breeze,

There they saw a car, suspended way up in the sky.

from horizontal, about thirty degrees.

get out of the driver’s door of that dangling car ,

And slide your way down, to the front number plates.

There you’ll locate and hold onto a key,

That you must use to release all your mates.

You must take that key, from way down in the front,

And work back, to the car boot – toute suite!.

Unlock your team and escort each member back

To each one’s, very own, back door seat.

As leaders, the Americans were given the choice.

And said that Jay and his team, should go first.

And then the organiser chipped in to say,

"Throughout the ordeal, there’ll be a rain burst".

Jay took on the task, displaying great grit

Hanging on with tips of fingers and toes.

Steadily and surely he accomplished his tasks,

But how he did it, heaven alone knows!

Then he worked his way back to the driver’s seat,

And closed the door, with a sigh of relief!.

He sounded the car horn to indicate job done.

And the Americans looked up, in utter disbelief.

Then they came forward with great resolve,

But their man didn’t have the strength or the touch!

He slid off that wet car, before you could say ‘knife’,

For them the task had been, just too much!

So Jay and his team were victorious.

Whilst the Americans took defeat, in good grace,

But all the prize-money was handed over to Jay

And his team ‘whooped it up’ all over the place!!

Copies of the teams exploits have been put onto disk

And they’ve been copied for everyone to see.

So, if you form a queue, at a convenient time.

I’ll sell you one - for an exorbitant fee!

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